Answer Magazine

It's All About Choices

Jim tells you to stop by his locker. He has something he wants to show you. You’re thinking he means the latest video gaming magazine the two of you have talked about. Jim carefully opens the locker door to reveal a gun. What do you do?

Kyle is an awesome guy—a real cutie. He is on every girl’s 'most-wanted radar.' But it’s you he wants to go out with. There’s just one problem. You know Kyle thinks that casual sex is a normal part of the dating experience. What do you do?

A group of your friends are getting together Saturday night at Julie’s. It should be a great party. Everyone will be there. The best part is that Julie’s parents will be out of town. So this “sleep over” should be the party of the year. Do you go?

The Pressure Cooker

Every day, every week, every month, every year you are faced with decisions of similar or greater magnitude. Living in the pressure cooker of real life, a single choice can have profound long term consequences. Some of the most important decisions you’ll ever make are often thrust upon you before you are old enough or mature enough to comprehend the long-term consequences.

It was that way for Holly. She was confused by so many competing demands from people around her. The one person she felt safe with was her boyfriend. She loved him, and he said he loved her. It felt so right to give herself to him completely. Weeks later, when she discovered she was pregnant, her boyfriend decided he didn’t love her as a pregnant teen girl. He walked out, and she was left alone to bear the consequences.

Tragically, the hurt was compounded when she decided to get rid of the baby. Thinking it had been resolved, she figured she could get on with life. But it didn’t end there. Like so many Hollys I have met over the past 25 years, the consequences of long-ago choices persist. To this day, she feels guilt and shame from those decisions.

A Firm Foundation

Obviously, making choices is critical for creating a happy life because each decision builds on previous decisions. A stable and satisfying life is based on a foundation of character and purpose. I offer the following questions with the hope that your answers will help anchor your thought processes in something far more stable than the temporary emotions of a moment.

What kind of person do you want to be? How do you want to be viewed by others? Friendly people are friendly. To put it another way, to have friends you should be a friend. If you want to excel, you must apply yourself in what you do. This kind of dedication will distinguish you from the crowd.

What are your spiritual and moral values? Trying to go through life without a solid set of values is like trying to navigate the ocean without a GPS (Global Positioning System). Don’t be deceived! Our culture wants you to believe that values aren’t important—that one value is as good as another.

Just think for a moment. Is hate as good as love? Is lying as good as truthfulness? Is cheating as good as honesty? If they were equal, then we’d all want to marry hateful, lying cheaters and spend the rest of our lives with these "wonderful" people. Who are they kidding?

Values help you establish a moral compass that directs your path. Simply put, compromise your values and you’ll weaken your soul.

A Builder's Association

Although you alone have the power to choose your actions in life, one of the most important guidelines you should consider has to do with other people and their influences on you. Who will you choose as friends? Will your friends share your values and morals?

If you aren’t convinced that your friends have an impact on your behavior, all you have to do is watch the various groups at your school or local hangout. You’ll see “the black hole of group behavior.” I’ve seen kids slip into the black hole and never return. Seriously, if you aren’t finding acceptance in your present circle of friends without compromising your moral and spiritual values you’re looking in the wrong place.

The choices you make today will determine many of your tomorrows. It is important to decide what kind of person you want to be—what your moral and spiritual values will be—and what friends will encourage you along the journey.

Ronald W. Mitchell is President/Editor-In-Chief of Promise Network in Birmingham, Alabama—an organization dedicated to sharing the promise of eternal life in Jesus Christ. www.promisenetwork.com.

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